The insane-rambler

I recently discover myself have been trying to seek things eagerly that I’m not supposed to have. Well, the inner or the weaknesses will reveal especially during times of difficulties. Let me be frank here, I may seems to be the-confident-person in front of the crowds, and yet a coward behind. Life is fragile, so do I! I’m vulnerable especially in the eyes of my families, Hence, they are always the one that stand for me! I hold the tears in turbulent circumstances and I’d successfully made it for several problems, however, we would only think the world is wonderful when things go by out side. I’m experiencing the personal treadmill due to the failure test that God has given me! I’m retracing the same circumstances and yet to fail for each time. What should I do? I knew I’ve absent to church for couples of weeks and as comparison from those time (This year would be the black-listed) I’ve drawn myself away from God and turned sin into more iniquities. Things becoming worst until today and in fact the constant worries made me so heartaches, dismay and distress! Grieving without sigh! Weepy without tears! Painsss strike deep in my heart!

I guess I shall forget the past and looking forth. I’ll not only grow in physically, most importantly, spiritually and get along with a healthy life! But how? Smile and wipe it out from my mind!?